Stairwell from My Art College
Like most people in the world, I find myself wanting to do many different things at the same time. Things such as photography, cinematography, fashion, music, programming, traveling; I find myself having a strong interest in. I don’t know if this has happened to you, but picture yourself on TikTok and you’re scrolling. You see someone doing an activity that you have interest in. Watching the art that they created.
You feel a burning sensation in your chest, asking yourself “Why can’t I start? Why don’t I believe in myself?” That’s really the question of the day tbh and at this point, my bag of excuses is almost empty. I have the equipment, but nothing is produced. I have the time, but it is spent on everything else but my values. I don’t want to continue the cycle of acknowledging my shortcomings, feeling sorry for myself, going to my saved sounds on TikToks; imaging edits of myself (cringe), all for that motivation to be used on nothing.
All this watching videos about procrastination, why I am not doing the things I want, etc is getting old and I’m not getting any younger here .
With my start in blogging, I have noticed myself trying to move away from my old habits. For example, for the first time ever, I am leaving my house for the sole purpose of making new friends. A fine arts museum is having a happy hour event, so I am actively putting myself in an unfamiliar environment. It should be enjoyable, but if not, at least I get to say I tried. I’m getting sidetracked though, I am supposed to be talking about what I want to be doing.
Ideally, I would like to make creative works without having to deal with any internal friction. Things like:
- starting a podcast with my friends as guests (don’t worry, I won’t be asking those unproductive questions that is plaguing my community)
- Partaking in creative photography (lookbooks, concepts, etc)
- Making creative advertising
- Making short/long films
- Posting YouTube videos
And the list can keep going. Now, the old me would try to formulate some type of excuse as to why I can’t work on any of those things, but enough is enough.
I’ve been working on my personal website so I can properly arrange my works but I am getting to work. I will say that a big problem I have is that I try to come up with a game plan for every activity I am doing.
Yeah, it is important, but there’s a time and a place for all this (“this is not the place for all this” – Chris Brown lmao). Most things in life allow you to come up with a plan WHILE you are doing the action. Of course, one should use discretion when deciding which activity to jump head first into versus knowing when to plan.
Though I think a good way to decide between the two is by asking yourself “If I were to fail, how much would I lose?” If the failure occurs, you would be able to pivot to something else, without suffering too much of a loss.
Anyways, to wrap up, I will be working hard to make myself uncomfortable so stay tuned for what is to come! I found an album the other day and I have really been messing with it. It is called “Quando O Carnaval Chegar” by Quarteto Em Cy. So enjoy the song recommendation!
D3OL 
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