(A swing and three rocks, D3OL 2023)

“What is a failure?” At first glance, the question may be easy to answer. You may say that “Well a failure is someone who quits.” or “A failure is someone who does not achieve their goals.” The official definition of the word is defined by Wikipedia as “the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success.” When failure is discussed, it is often spoken about with a negative connotation. Like, it is something one should avoid at all costs. While I can understand why this thought process exists, I do believe we must work to change how we look at it.

I want you to recall a time where you heard or saw someone taking a chance on themselves, not getting the result they wanted, and giving up on that goal. Are they a failure? I believe there is such a large stigma against failure because people do not want to appear foolish in front of others. Everyone wants to be accepted, so if that could potentially be threatened by deviating from the status quo, people will naturally not want to be considered a failure. While this is easy to comprehend, you severely hinder yourself from achieving anything in life.

Was scrolling on TikTok and I came across an excerpt from the ‘Laws of Human Nature’ by Robert Greene. It talked about how when someone newly joins a group, there is a natural desire to try and fit in with the rest. He says “The first way you do this is through appearances. You dress and present yourself more or less as the others in the group.” We have seen something like this happen before. Where something that historically was written off as “uncool”, now is more popular than ever. This phenomenon is why things like “Y2K” and “Grunge” are cool and appreciated now compared to when they just began to take off (watch out for the people that will tell you how they were made fun of for liking this kind of stuff). Greene hits the nail on its head for a second time by saying “The second and more important way you fit in is by adopting the ideas, beliefs, and values of the group. The longer you are in the group, the stronger and more insidious this effect.”

Perhaps this could explain why people often discourage failure. It implies one tried to deviate from the status quo or what everyone else is doing. I believe true failure comes when the “fire” within does not get a chance to cast its own light on the world. It was closed off out of fear of being shunned by society or being embarrassed by the possibility of failure. This is why it is very important not to listen to detractors. This type of person is often critical towards any idea you share with them. It is important to note that people are allowed to be critical up to a certain point. If the general public is your target audience, then they have a right to make general criticisms about you. However, detractors usually come from people within your circle.

They come in different forms but I believe there are two types: passive and active. The passive detractor will often ask indirect questions or act in a passive-aggressive manner towards the goal shared with them. I believe that people who are passive detractors are not aware of what they are doing, so bringing this to their attention could lead to corrected behavior. However, if the person continues to act in this manner, then they are participating in active detraction. Active detraction is when a person shares many criticisms about your goal, but provides no resources or assistance to address the concerns. I believe many detractors ended up this way because they too had a goal/vision they wanted to achieve, but let the possibility of failure stop them.

What I want people to understand is true failure can occur when the fire within does not get a chance to shine, or if one lets the detractors win. On this journey, there will be many obstacles/hurdles one will have to face, whether they are internal or external. This is why it is important for one to define their definition of “making it.” This way, they are able to use that as their Northern star, rather than losing focus. Another thing you must realize is that the journey will not be straightforward.

There are people who talk about the homeless crisis, then there are people who build shelters. If you truly want it, you have to be okay with failing. You have to be okay with barely failing with a 69 on a final. You have to be okay with having a client come back to you, saying they are not satisfied with your work. Even though it will hurt in the moment, when you make the conscious decision to be better than you were at that moment, that is when real progress occurs. All you need to be is 1% more than the previous time you tried. Whether you do this or not is your decision, but one thing to note is that ideas do not stop for you. You have heard this saying before, “what a man won’t do, another will.”

As I continue writing these essays, I can see how philosophy, art, and spirituality can all be connected. All of them aid the way one can look at life. It is possible that partaking in one of these activities would benefit the others. I will say, starting this writing journey has allowed me to appreciate the works of others. I believe this because sitting down to make something forces one to sit down and brainstorm how they can communicate what is in their mind into a physical medium. Maybe this is why they say communication is key.

Creatively speaking, I want to start getting into music creation and possibly starting my own radio. The idea came about when I chopped and mashed the original version of Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. Im probably finna start sampling voicemails to show y’all i’m serious. I appreciate you all that continue to support me in my endeavors. Thankfully, school will be ending soon so I hope I will have more time to dedicate. Today’s song recommendation is Fear by LOMAJI and Nedaj. Please do not fear failure or “looking dumb”. You’ve seen wholesome videos of people genuinely having fun with themselves or people in the video. It may be labeled as cringe but couldn’t care less what label you put on them. Be like them. Be cringe.