(Sign of the Artists’ Concert I Attended, 2023 D3OL)

I want to create good work. Quality work. So much so that when people realize a piece of work was created by me, they get excited because they know it will be good. Right now, I don’t believe that I am doing that at the moment. The good way to know if something is good or not is by receiving feedback. Maybe this is something I need to go to therapy about, but I don’t believe the feedback I get is “real”. In the past when people who read my blog interacted with me, they would have good things to say about it. The main issue that I am having is that I do not know if that is how they truly feel (That the blog post was good to them), or if they are just saying that because there is some level of attraction.

Without me diving too much into the psychology space, I believe that creating quality work is a result of having proper knowledge, and inner confidence. As I am writing this, it would make sense that confidence comes from the amount of knowledge you know. It is hard to imagine someone having the knowledge for a particular subject, and that same person having a difficult time proving it. A handyman can show up to a job site and spend 5 minutes fixing an issue. Them knowing that they have knowledge to solve the issue, paired with the experience of applying that knowledge, gives them the confidence that they can do what they need to effectively.

I have an interest in making movies and creative photos. When I talk about the steps on how to create either work, I can give a good description on how/what things need to be done. However, the problem I am dealing with is I cannot effectively prove it. The main reason being I don’t often apply a lot of the things that I have learned. It is just theoretical. The biggest obstacle that I have identified is fear.

“What if it doesn’t look good or turn out right?” or “How will people view me while I am doing my thing?” These are just some of the questions I use to put off applying what I know creatively. When those questions are asked, there is an assumption that the people in question are important. If you stopped and analyzed specifically the audience your work may face, I promise that you’ll realize they aren’t as important as your brain is making them out to be.

In a previous blog that I ended up not publishing, I wanted to write about people seeking value in relationships in general. From my personal experiences, it seems people are only willing to hang out or collaborate on a project, if it can benefit them in some way, shape or form. When I came to the conclusion initially, I was a bit upset. As I thought about it, began to see it in a different way. People are in relationships (platonic, business, or romantic) because of what the other party can do for them. Whether it is how that other party makes them feel, or how the other party can benefit them is how people determine the necessity of the connection.

With this logic in mind, it made things much easier to understand. Creatively speaking, I have not done much to showcase how I can bring value to one’s project, so expecting them to bring me on with no questions is very unrealistic. This may sound transactional or conditional, and it is. I can acknowledge that. Again, I am no psychologist, and I am a man that has never been to therapy, so what I am saying could be complete nonsense. However, that is what makes sense to me when I look at it.

Another thing I believe contributes to this is by not having a strong enough calling card. In math, when the instructor asks for you to solve a problem, what is the main thing they require you to do? It is showing your work. This can look different depending on the context. For example, for someone to consider another person a good candidate for friendships or romantic relationships, they need a way to determine that. The only way this can be done is by vetting the person’s character.

A person could speak about how much of a good person they are, but if their actions do not align, they will have a hard time making those kinds of relationships. Actions speak louder than words. Making a “public” resume and allowing people to make their own judgment on who you are as a person is the way to go. When I say resume, I mean having something that can allow you to showcase your work. It gives people the opportunity to know if they should “care” to know about you. This does sound pretty harsh, but this answer makes the most sense to me when I was asked a specific question.

What are you going to do about it?

Such a simple, but important question. You are not satisfied with how people view you, or how they interact with you. What are you going to do about it? It is fine if you don’t want to do anything about it, however you cannot be surprised when that issue continues to cause problems.

Just yesterday, I posted a vlog to my YouTube channel. The video is pretty raw, meaning there is not a whole lot of editing that has been done to the video. I started doing this with my old roommates in college. We’re going to be posting a video to our channels once a week, with the goal of getting better with each video posted. My personal goal is that I want to complete the rest of my vision board before the year ends. I won’t post the actual vision board until the end of the year, so that an enemy of progress doesn’t try to impact my success.

Since I don’t give much commentary in the video, I will just briefly go over what I did in the vlog. On Monday, I went to the dealership to get my oil changed. On Tuesday, I had a three-hour interview, where I was surprised by a technical question in the last part. Low key making me nervous about their final decision. On Wednesday, I went to an Earl Sweatshirt concert, where my favorite rapper, MIKE performed. On Friday, I went to a sewing class, and that has made me think about taking fashion more seriously. Finally, on Saturday, I went to a film making workshop, where I learned in depth on what entails the film making process.

Once again, I appreciate you all investing the time to read my blog, or watch my videos. I truly appreciate it. The blog post’s song recommendation is going to be a song used a sample in one of my favorite songs. The song is ‘Dear Micheal’ by Micheal Jackson